LETTERS |
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LETTERS |
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Dave welcomes your opinions and observations. Pseudonyms are okay, and names will be withheld upon request, so long as contact information is provided to Dave. Nothing libelous, crude or nasty, please. Long rants trimmed or discarded, short ones welcome!|
RAGE AND BLAME Dave, With my
full-time job, and my web page, and my tax class, and my slow modem, I'm
not up on the latest round, but it's time for the Southern Nevada
delegation to recognize that the real issue with Northern Nevada is their
implicit and subtle support of the gambling industry's subjugation of
Southern Nevada.If Northern Nevada sins, and it does, it is on the side of smugness. They
are willing to be a party to denying the people knowledge of which of their
legislators that supposedly represent this county instead represent the
casinos. The sales tax increase should be on the ballot. The only reason
it isn't on the ballot is because it wouldn't pass.Senator Raggio has no claim to indignation. He doesn't live here. If
Senator Neal wishes to introduce a bill that would have the gambling
industry, instead of the consumers of Clark County, pay the tax for the
infrastructure , then his idea deserves a forum, to say the least. I want
to know, for the record, which legislators would support such a proposal,
and which would oppose it. If such a suggestion upsets business as usual in
the Legislature then so be it. Business as usual in the Legislature has
produced quite a ride for the gambling lobbyists, it would be a pleasure to
see them turned away from the gate instead of Joe Neal.It's time to confront Northern Nevada as a body on this issue, and find out
who is for, and who is against. Burying a proposal to tax gambling in the
face of this highly controversial tax increase is arrogant. I think the
Southern Senator has had his ears bitten, and where is the voice of justice
now? As far as I'm concerned, Senator Neal, you are the heavy weight
champion of the world.Ann Reynolds Nevada native, Las Vegas resident SNIGLETS FROM THE SNOWMAN Dave, Here are some new Sniglets—words that should be in the dictionary:ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting her(him)self in the eye (or ear). BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. Roger The Snowman Connecticutt WHERE ARE THE INVESTIGATORS? Dave, This is day Whatever of the RSCVA "outrage watch". It has been that long
since it was revealed that they "misdirected" some $1,300,000 reserved for
Bond payment to pay for their own salaries and operations.The Reno Gazette reported that this scheme is a violation of Nevada
State Law. (Not hard to conceive of that concept!). When are the
authorities going to step in? ARE they going to step in... or are there too
many people from high places in that can... of worms?Change name to RSCWA - Reno Sparks Can of Worms "Authority".Note: It was reported that the RSCVA is also $3,000,000 in default on
payments to its venders. BUT they remembered to pay their own salaries...
WHERE ARE THE INVESTIGATORS?Sam Dehne Concerned Reno Citizen VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS! STOP THE VIOLINS! Dave, I just wanted to inform you that the state troopers that give
tickets out there are highly unintelligent. Two weeks ago I got a ticket
out in Nevada beause someone else was speeding. The trooper was in front
of me and when I passed him he pulled me over for "speeding." He told me
that he saw two people on the "doppler radar" speeding. The trooper chose
to ingore the two cars behind me that he "saw" on the doppler radar that
were speeding!! Also, the doppler radar is normally used for checking the
weather situation. So either he was trying to impress me with big words
or he was just ignorant.With a state so rich from money from others, can't you train your
state troopers to think clearly? Or at least hire better officers of the
law that don't spew our babble that an educated person can't understand! Hey,
maybe even put some more money into public education! What an idea!Cheerz,J
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SPEED KILLS Dave, Two hundred and sixteen car drivers started out in 1903
on a 870-mile race from Paris to Madrid. Few people along
the route ever before had seen a car. So they waited in
the road. By the time the lead car had gone 343 miles --
when the whole thing was called off -- the racers had
killed 550 spectators.L.M. Boyd Crown Syndicate LARRY, CURLY & MOE IN RENO Dave, Reno's slogan, "Building a Better Reno," should be changed to
"Larry, Curly, and Moe (LCM) Continue to Lie, Cheat, and Steal." The changed slogan would be more appropriate.One of the most recent assaults on Reno citizens is the fact that citizen advocate Sam Dehne's application for the new City of Reno Ombudsman position "was never received" according to our LCM city officials.It's crystal clear to realize that Reno's Power Club flunkies at city hall would have to install a major dry-cleaning plant if Citizen Sam were to magically find himself in the ombudsman position. The dry-cleaning plant would be mandatory to deal with the soiled britches and diapers of officials who would shortly be revealed as the idiots and crooks they are. Citizen Sam knows what an ombudsman should be:
BLUNDERS, ABUSES, AND OUTRIGHT CORRUPTION. No, our LCM officials want their new HUMBUGSMAN to be yet another flunky, subservient to the local Power Club ... someone who will run interference for their antics ... rather than serve
as an actual people's advocate. Once Abbot or Costello is finally appointed as humbugsman, the new game in town will be to make life very difficult for this counterfeit of the real thing. No doubt, this comedian will be instructed to not acknowledge tough questions asked by citizens ... this being the long-standing practice of the LCM gang.An actual ombudsman would want to quickly deal with corruption at city hall ... in order to serve Reno citizens, the common good, and the general principle that government should strive to earn and deserve public trust. No doubt, the toady selected for humbugsman by the LCM gang will find things at city hall "so clean and reputable" that it will be difficult for him/her to justify his/her $100,000
compensation package ... yet another insulting assault on the public treasury.Our new humbugsman will become known as the highest-priced coffee go-fer in Northern Nevada.Reno government can not be trusted because it is corrupt, owned by the casino-growth Power Club, and doesn't give a damn about the noble concept of "government of, by, and for the people."What a sad thing to reflect that Reno's excuse for a mayor ... who trembles before police demonstrations at city hall ... was elected by only 15% of registered Reno voters. Eighty-five percent of Reno voters opted to not support this Power Club frontman. Even though his warchest of over $130,000 greatly outweighed that of his closest competitor, Martha Gould, Jeff Griffin managed to collect only 644 votes more than Martha (if the vote count can be trusted, which in Washoe County is NOT a given).It's just a matter of time before we learn whether the new humbugsman's name is Laurel or Hardy. Our Larry, Curly, and Moe city hall folks will most certainly select from among their own fraternity of stooges.Guy Felton Reno ARE WE ONLINE HERE? Dave, Are we on line here or should we all move into the cave with the
campfire? A rabbit-skin blanket can keep you warm, especially when the
family huddles together. Petroglyphs last a thousand years, even though
nobody knows what they mean. The internet has a thousand million
meanings and a universe of knowledge but when the lights go out and the
batteries die it will all be shit in our hands. Can you kill a rabbit
with a modem?Please advise.
Ken Miller Silver City AN URBAN VIGNETTE Dave, Two guys are standing in an ATM line. One guy starts massaging the shoulders of the guy in front of him who whirls around and asks the masseuse what the heck he thinks he's doing."I'm a massage therapist," he says, and I'm just trying to drum up a little business.""Well," he says, "I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the person in front of me!"Bruce Anderson Boonville, California TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS Dave, Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.F.J. Raymond Sky High City, Nevada ODE TO AN IRISH PEACH Dave, About eight o'clock one morning, I heard a knock and then my front door
opening. It was Phoebe with a pot of potato
soup. I expressed my thanks and she left for work and so did I. That
night we had it for supper. It was very good.Ode to Potato Soup
Oh lovely orb, so staunch and round till diced,
Each tender bite, each savory drop now slides
To she whose soft white flesh excites my eyes OLD BUM SENDS THANKS Dave, I can't thank you enough for the link to the Tahoe Tribune. As an
old ski bum long since removed from the area it will be a treat to renew
and old aquaintance and see how things have changed since I left my
beautiful little cabin back in 1969.Best Wishes and thanks againDr. John Egenolf Anchorage, Alaska WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Dave, If I fear anything, I fear the atmosphere of the war, the power which it gives to all the things I hate--the newspapers, the politicians, the puritans, the scoutmasters, the middleaged merciless spinsters. I fear the way I might behave, if I were exposed to this atmosphere. I shrink from the duty of opposition. I am afraid I should be reduced to a chattering, enraged monkey, screaming back hate at hate.Christopher Isherwood Diaries, 1940 LOOK TO THIS DAY Dave, Look to this day,For it is life,The very life of life.In its brief course lie allThe realities and verities of existence,The bliss of growth,The splendor of action,The glory of power- For yesterday is but a dream, And tomorrow is only a vision,But today, well lived,Makes every yesterday a dream
of happinessAnd every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day. Ray Muller Carson City THE VIEW FROM RENO Dave, What a great world... to be able to do what you are doing from little Gold
Hill. Imagine 40,000,000 people reading your page...Glad you put Andy's "barb" on there too. It is hard to get the real truth
here in Reno. Although the TVs and Gazette did a good job reporting the
flood. I haven't figured out what they did that was "in it for them" yet.
But you can bet there is something.Of course they may have failed at whatever their goal was/is.
They did do a lot of editorializing with their news reporting though.
Example: headline on 2nd day: "Worst Over" Next day's headline "Devastation".I don't think the worst was over for a lot of people. They are trying to
make a lot out of this "touchy-feely" stuff. But I think that is general
humnan nature; with most average people being good and wanting to help.
Reno is not unique in that regard.If you owned a casino, wouldn't you be willing to fix meals for the people
who were saving your business by bailing water, etc. Why be given accolades
as a hero by the news media. The "heroes" were the ones saving businesses
for the downtown fat cats...Sam Dehne Reno (Sam Dehne is editor of The Reno Citizen, now available in the Nevada section of Dave's News Stand) THE NAME GAME Dave, Technically, if Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. IF he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale. (I really had to think about this one to get it!)If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."Max Winthrop Sky High City CIVIC DUTY: KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN
Dave, A MATTER OF TASTE?
Dave, PURSEVERENCE FURTHERS
Dave, VOX POPULI
Dave, SEX AND FRIENDSHIP
Dave, WHAT IS RELIGION?
Dave, You too can write a letter to Dave. Share that bon mot or shrewd observation that you're so proud of. Some of the letters I publish were not actually addressed to me personally, but I feel as if they were. If you get the same feeling I recommend a subscription to The Anderson Valley Advertiser, easily the finest weekly paper in the modern west. Some of my letters have appeared in the AVA as column padding. |
